Entitled older sister asks younger sister for $2K of her $5K work bonus after having borrowed $3.5K without paying her back: 'I've "loaned" her money probably 6 times in the past 2 years.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 13, 2026 8:00 AM EST

She should never give her money ever again. 

It's never a good idea to loan money to your family. If you really want to give money to your parents, grandparents, siblings, or kids, it should be a gift, not a loan. Giving a generous cash gift does not irrevocably change your relationship forever, but giving a loan certainly can. It transforms the relationship from parent and child to lender and borrower. If you borrow money from the bank, you don't have to go to Thanksgiving dinner with the bank. The bank isn't calling you and judging the things you're buying with money you could've used to pay off debt. The bank is making money off the interest that's accumulating on your debt. The bank will not personally resent you if you fail to pay them back. It will do a whole bunch of other things, but there's nothing personal about a bank loan. 

A loan from a family member is always personal, even when people say that it's not. It totally changes the relationship until the loan is paid, and even then, the relationship might change forever. The resentment a lender feels toward a borrower who hasn't repaid the loan often gets baked into other parts of the relationship. A borrower might spend the rest of their life feeling indebted to the lender, even after repaying the loan with interest. Worst of all, a borrower doesn't have the threat of the bank coming for them hanging over their heads when they borrow from family members. They might feel like they never have to pay the money back. 

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  • A woman sitting in a park with trees in the background
    via Levi Meir Clancy (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The sister in this story has made a habit of borrowing from her financially responsible sister and refusing to repay her. When she heard about the bonus her sister had received over the holidays, she wanted her to give her 2/5 of it.

  • Am I the bad guy for refusing to share my work bonus with my sister even though she's struggling financially?

    I (29F) just got a $5,000 performance bonus at work. I've been working crazy hours for months on this project and I earned it. I was planning to use it to finally take a vacation and put the rest in savings.
    via u/ShoulderPure5192
  • Woman in brown sun hat lying on sand during daytime
    via Rafael Cisneros Méndez

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My sister Lauren (31F) found out about my bonus somehow (probably from our mom) and called me asking if I could "loan" her $2,000. She's behind on rent and her car payment. This isn't the first time shes asked me for money.
    via u/ShoulderPure5192
  • I've "loaned" her money probably 6 times in the past 2 years and she's never paid me back. Not once. At this point I've given her probably $3,500 total.
    via u/ShoulderPure5192
  • I told her no this time. I said I've helped her multiple times and she never pays me back so I can't keep doing this. She started crying saying she might get evicted and that "family is supposed to help eachother."
    via u/ShoulderPure5192
  • I feel bad but I'm also tired of being her bank. She makes poor financial decisions (buys designer clothes, eats out constantly, just got a new tattoo last month) and then expects me to bail her out.
    via u/ShoulderPure5192
  • Woman with black and brown floral tattoo on her back
    via Jasmin Chew

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Now my mom is calling me selfish and saying I "have the money so why not help." My dad agrees with me but everyone else thinks I'm being cruel. AITJ for not giving her money this time?
    via u/ShoulderPure5192
  • TL;DR: Sister who never pays me back asked for $2,000 from my work bonus. I said no after lending her $3,500 previously and family says I'm selfish.
    via u/ShoulderPure5192
  • carmelfan NTJ. But now you know not to be telling anyone about your finances.
    via u/carmelfan
  • Background-Key-1088 Never share your financial information. You didn't need to tell your mom. She didn't need to tell your sister. Keep it to yourself.
    via u/Background-Key-1088
  • BulkyCaterpillar4240 NTJ. Tell your mother "thank you for volunteering by lending Lauren $2,000"
    via u/BulkyCaterpillar4240
  • Magician This6703 NTJ at all, you're not her personal ATM She's had 6 chances to prove she'd pay you back and blew every single one. The "family helps family" line is rich coming from someone who spent money on designer clothes and tattoos while being behind on rent. Your mom can loan her the money if she feels so strongly about it
    via u/MagicianThis6703
  • No_Stage_6158 NTJ, but learn to keep your mouth shut about your finances. As far as anyone needs to know, you're always broke,
    via u/No_Stage_6158
  • oldandopinionated NTJ. Never tell people what you earn. And never loan money to somebody who isn't paying it back. Let her know that the bank is closed until she repays what is owed. You wouldn't allow a stranger to keep taking from you, why would you allow somebody who's supposed to love you to do it? She does sound like she needs to adjust her lifestyle to her income instead of asking for handouts.
    via u/oldandopinionated

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Tags

family drama bonus work debt loan sister mom money entitled people vacation
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